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It is with great pleasure, and even greater anticipation, that I begin this new chapter of life, as a practitioner and follower of the Left Hand Path. In an attempt to document the progress and development of my craft, I have decided to prepare my findings for the public to share in. Be it through the reviewing and practical applications of books that I have currently found to be noteworthy (or possibly in some cases, less than note worthy), the charting of growth and deliberate utilization of magick and ritual and it's reactionary courses of action, various antidotes of thought, realization, enlightenment, understanding and knowledge, or simply just in the recording and recognition of the True Will.
Considering this marks my first entry in the previously declared ongoing written documentary of my magickal existence, I thought it would be in good taste to shine some light on some of the individuals and their various groups and orders that have given me much inspiration over the past 3 decades. As for many of us, my interest in the occult began at a very young age; I was into skateboarding and punk music, rebellion and doing things my own way. Be through the album covers of Iron Maiden and Black Sabbath or the pentagrams and upside down crosses spray painted in the sewage drains and ditches we skated, I was completely enthralled by this adversarial figure that was being represented. My life took its first major step towards the countless blessings hidden within the LHP once I stumbled up the Satanic Bible by Anton LaVey. Everything I had come to understand about life and it was meant to lived start to fly out the window, as new thoughts and ideas began to permeate my adolescent mind.
My studying throughout the next decade of my life was always done in secret. Out of fear of reprisal, I would keep everything I was learning and reading about to myself. I mainly stuck to flipping through the pictures of devils and demons and reading old tales of hell and brimstone in the books inside the locked case in the local library. I would read and memorize lyrics from songs that I felt had deep spiritual attachment. Even though I was almost 30 years of age before I consciously performed my first concentrated act of conscious and deliberate ceremonial ritual magick, I could still feel the waves throughout my body and soul during these early days. I would keep notebooks full of prayers, dedications and promised acts of blasphemy and violence towards the Christian church that I would pen. I look back at these days romantically, it was a time of innocence and chaos, lustful feelings and misdirected energies, it was a time of great change and growth within a world I had not even really dipped my toes into, as of yet.
My twenty's were a wild time, no need to sugar coat it to be anything less than that. I had gone my own way by age 14 and tested the laws of the land years before my peers were messing with shit. So by the time I was hitting the legal age to drink alcohol, I was already deep down the rabbit hole of drugs and booze. Whether or not the debauchery that resulted was from my "I don't give a fuck" attitude or my propensity to be far more intoxicated than the rest, but still keeping my composure together, I found being in my own, self medicated world was ideal to my vision of this plane being nothing more than something to escape from. I wont deny that living the sex, drugs and rock n roll had its moments of unmeasurable bliss, satisfaction and gratification, an amazing representation of living the Satanic Bible's description of a Will focused life, but at the same time, my lack of foundation lead to many, many bumps in the road. Thus, the drug addiction lead to a mentally agonizing rehabilitation period, in which I was energetically forced to reevaluate my exercise and practice of living life.
Following my two year stint at an intensive drug rehabilitation center, I was blessed by meeting my future wife, who has since brought us two beautiful daughters into our life. Having conquered the spirit of addiction and moved from the solitary life to that of a family unit, I found much comfort in reintroducing myself to the teachings I had grown up implementing through LaVeyan Satanism and punk rock ideals. Having relocated to San Francisco just after rehabilitation, I was enamored by the availability of so many different avenues of Left Hand Path and occult thought that was being taught around every corner, that I spent my first three years of sobriety delving as deep as I could into everything I could get my hands on.
My previously mentioned association with the punk rock movement ended up playing itself well during these years as well. Having formed multiple local occult music acts that gained notoriety rather quickly, I was right away tossed into the current of creative energy forces, bring many unique and amazing people through my life. I was extremely fortunate to have crossed as many paths as I did in such a short amount of time. Bumping shoulders, shaking hands with, discussing esoterica and participating in ritual work with some of the most gifted and profoundly knowledgeable occultists and magickians of our time period. Considering the initiatory system of groups such as the OTO and A.'.A.'. that have such beautiful and flourishing chapters in the Bay Area, I had the pleasure of witnessing private Gnostic Masses and Thelemic study sessions behind closed doors, intended for initiates of the order and not the general public. Everything about these days was full of magick and power, so much so that my involvement with ritual work that far surpassed my state of knowledge and understanding, that many of my intentions ended up causing me much damage in my life. Much like the drug addiction of my younger days, I was in over my head once again. With cosmic threats hitting from every direction, I packed my bags and decided to spend my time reinforcing the foundation of my family life, moving us from the city to Monterey County.
After spending the bigger part of the past eight years running around the occult playground that we call the Bay Area of Northern California, I found myself for the first time standing firm upon my own two feet, the countless days of struggle and repercussion were all beginning to make sense and fall into place. It was at this point that I decided to start my study over, from the beginning and bring everything full circle. So, with this said I went back to the first step of most every western occultist these days, rereading and reabsorbing the lessons of freedom and self respect taught through the words of Anton LaVey and his Satanic Bible. It is from this point that I am starting this blog, from step 1.
In an attempt to openly and productively receive on as constant a basis as possible, I am not cutting any corners. In other words, prior to me readopting the teachings of Liber ABA or 777, I am beginning with the likes of Rodney Orpheus, Lon Milo Duquette and James and Nancy Wasserman. In the entries that follow, I will be delving into everything from my progresses in Yoga to my struggles in ritual and everything in between. Even though, this is obviously a very personal en devour, I am very much open to hearing from others, be through simple communications of relation to subjective pieces of constructive criticism to basic questions regarding intent and execution etc etc.
- Frater Narayana
ABRAHADABRA!
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